If you work around people...

This is going to be a wide reaching assumption on my part, but it is a huge pet-peeve of mine and a situation I experience almost on a daily basis. Therefore, I think someone (me) needs to write it out in black and white since, obviously, no one else has taught you these small but important lessons. I was also a waitress for several years so I know what good service should look like and it frustrates me when it's obvious management, parents, and authority figures are failing to teach basic pride and kindness at work. As well as how to effectively deal with stressful and difficult situations and customers.

Have pride in what you have chosen to do as a job.
Although I don't suggest you define who you are based on your job, it is a job you have chosen. Therefore, take pride in what you are doing and, more importantly, how you are doing it.

If you work with the public... No. If you work anywhere near another person, it is in your best interest to A) Not announce to a coworker how horrible you feel about your place of business B) How horrible you feel after a late night of partying C) How horrible you feel. Sharing these things is not justified by thinking no one else is around who can overhear. When you feel, say and act upon these beliefs, you are making your life miserable. And as a customer on the other side of this energy, I am likely to react to this misery - even if it's on an unconscious level - and only offer you more misery, which in turn will draw more misery for myself. So you see? We can't win in this blizzard of misery.

I realize standing behind a counter somewhere may not be intellectually stimulating, but again, you have chosen to work there. Many people are counting on you to do your job, not only correctly but also pleasantly. There is nothing more unattractive than a mopey-faced intolerant store clerk who obviously views a customer as a nuisance. As a customer, when I am viewed as a distraction when all I wanted was to come in, purchase one item and leave, I am instantly drawn back to my childhood when my mother would sarcastically leave a cashier with, "Thanks. And you have the best day!" after the cashier would not so much as say hello to her, or anyone else for that matter. I am often simmering with anger but do not know what words would get my point across. So I leave, not saying anything, only to be more angry at myself than the person in question.

I think what I would love to say more than anything - if I felt the nerve to do so - would be, "If you hate your job so much, go somewhere else. You are not doing anyone any good by swimming in your misery, splashing it all over the walls, the ceiling, and everyone who enters this establishment. Please, dear, go somewhere where you will be happy and spread joy."

It is a horrible feeling to hand over my precious resource (money) to a person who represents a company (large, probably polluting the environment, and outsourcing to third-world countries) without so much as a smile or a thank you. Can't you please thank me for keeping you employed by making this purchase?

You may think someone is a b&*^% or an a-hole. And it's remarkably easy to label someone those two things (among many other simple titles), but the truth is, you have no idea what is going on. A woman who comes in may have just been served divorce papers, she may have just buried her child, she may have lost the job of her dreams, she may have been beaten the night before and she's expecting to be beaten again tonight. A man may have just dropped off his children and doesn't know when he will see them again, he may have just been laid off work, he my be spending his last $5 for the month, or he may have no idea when he will see $5 again. You simply never know. Never ever assume you have any idea of what a "difficult" customer may be dealing with.

I can tell you, as a customer it has never been my goal to upset a store clerk or waitress as much as I can. I have never had the intention to have the worst experience in a store or restaurant. That is never my goal. Just as I am sure it is never the goal of the clerk to give the worst service and the least amount of compassion and understanding. But, when the service person hates their job and the customer knows this instantly, there is a disconnect. Something has gone wrong somewhere. It is no business of mine what you are going through. Just as it is no business of yours what I am going through. But our paths have crossed for a reason. It may seem insignificant but it isn't. You were working at the exact time I chose to come to your store and I picked your table or your line. There is an opportunity is everything. Find it.

It is not OK to be unkind - on both sides of the counter or table.
It is not OK that customers know what the service person is doing later or did last night and who she or he did it with.
It is not OK to scream across, over, and through the place of business at fellow employees to tell jokes, swap stories, exchange playful or flirtatious banter.
It is not OK to have your friends visit while you are working.
It is not OK to hang out at the place of business when you are not working. If you are off the clock then stay out of the store and do not distract others who are working.
It is not OK to make the customer miserable because you are. Leave your problems hanging on the door when you arrive. You can gladly pick them up when you leave. View work as an escape from the problems in your personal life. If work is the source of your misery, get a different job and do it quickly.

As a service technician (for the extreme politically correct term-lovers) you simply cannot stay in your misery while you are working. When you are consumed in a cloud of misery, it emanates from you and not only makes everyone else miserable but it only draws more misery to yourself. I for one am tired of handing over my money, looking for the perfect meal, the perfect outfit, the perfect makings for a breakfast, only to be fed a side of misery or handed a bag of disgust. I don't need it. Neither do you. So let's try this: Seek Joy. In everything you do, see, feel, and act, seek to discover and share the joy in it.

On the Other Hand... (because there is always another hand. Well...OK. Anyway.)

As a customer, it is not OK to treat a service technician in a condescending manner. Yes, they are paid to assist you, but they are not paid to take abuse.

Although I personally hate hearing "it's my first day" or "I'm new here" as an answer, let's cut them some slack. This may be the first job they have ever had. They may be shaking in their boots... Well, that may not be true with today's youth, but still, we don't know.

Maybe we can work on stop assuming "all these people are idiots" and assume they sincerely don't know where or what something is, or how something works, or what happens when you mix vinegar and baking soda. Maybe no one has showed them yet. I had a sister in law who, until she witnessed my mother doing laundry, never knew how the water got in the washer. This doesn't mean she was an idiot. What it does mean - and is a great example of - is that some people are simply too sheltered, too coddled while growing up or they had no one around to teach them seemingly simple things.

Can you take it upon yourself to gently educate someone? Can you take one minute of your day to gently explain something to someone who hasn't been taught yet? Can you do this in a kind and non-condescending manner? How about this, what if the next time you pay for something with cash and the cashier grabs the amount of money the register tells him to, what if you took thirty seconds to teach him how to figure it out on his own. (By the way, You count from the total charged up to the next quarter, then the next dollar until you have reached the amount the buyer gave to pay.)

And stop talking on the cell phone when you are ordering or paying for something. That's just rude. And I guarantee, the person on the other side of the counter wants to skip you or tell you to get off the phone.

Have some decency towards the person working the medial job that you either no longer have to work, or would never bother with. Self respect and kindness are never bad things. Fill yourself up with some then dish it out by the armful.